“If you were to ask me a few years ago if I would ever support Fraternities, let alone work for one, I would have laughed. Now ask me today and I will say, “absolutely, and let me tell you why.”
_______
Like many of my friends growing up, my only context of Greek life was shaped by what I saw in movies; college towns a million miles away, draped with convertibles and top-down Jeep wranglers parked along the rows of mega-mansions bursting with nonstop boozing. This community was filled with the same type of people I admired in Seventeen Magazine. People of such caliber they surely didn’t grow up like me; the kid who lived in the 627sq ft inner-city home wearing Kmart clothes purchased on layaway. Outside of movies, I didn’t pay much attention to or really understand Greek life.
Years later, I arrived on campus as a first-generation college student just a few months shy of 18. My mother was not able to leave me with any specific advice, however, she did help me move into my dorm that day, lugging box after box up three flights of stairs with nothing but pride on her face because I was in college now. All it took was a little bit of faith, an awesome guidance counselor, and my dad who co-signed one of many promissory notes that would further verify just how much we didn’t know and couldn’t afford. All of which kept me holding on to that familiar fear….
I do not belong.
It is easy to say, now looking back, that I didn’t take full advantage of my time in college. I didn’t even attend the overly promoted freshman events on campus or attempt to explore Greek life when asked by what few friends I did make. I wouldn’t have understood the significance of these organizations either, not until some 20 years later when my personal journey led me there.
I say personal journey because it was the point in my adult life, well past the college years, when I started to truly understand who I was, and what I was working for. That ultimate search for my “why” came during this time, after walking away from the corporate world without a plan.
With my professional journey on pause and COVID’s disruption, I had to remain focused on raising my three young boys and my newly crafted mission of being a good human to raise good humans. I needed to exemplify my newly defined values, to show my boys how to achieve happiness, and create a successful life of service.
That is when I got the call to come work for Lambda Chi Alpha. A Fraternity that seemingly fit the stereotype I had once formed, yet since forgotten. I was intrigued and wanted to learn more.
What I found was an organization with a clear mission to inspire and equip men to lead an ethical life of growth, service, and leadership led by a passionate leader with a bold vision to execute. However, after the initial interviews, I was still bound by my original perceptions thanks to the massive stereotype of a chip embedded into my shoulder. A chip that was lodged loose thanks to a few leaders on the team who belonged to the brotherhood themselves. They spoke of Lambda Chi from both experience and success, despite coming from the same type of difficult background as me. [Here’s our CEO’s story, delivered with full candor, passion, and true love for the brotherhood].
And, like a moth to a flame, I started to understand Fraternity and experience its value firsthand; something I would not have been able to do all those years ago.
What did it take to open my eyes? To start, it was the statistics impacting the Greek community; recent data that showed just how many young men were falling behind in nearly every category studied. Even more unsettling, I learned about the steep spike in suicides happening amongst young men across the board, along with the massive decline in the number attending college.
To say that I became passionate about delivering a solution to these problems would be an understatement. While I acknowledge and am not neglecting some of the truths that remain when stereotyping the Greek community, I made a choice to become a part of the fight to save these young men versus carrying any biases aimed at destroying them. I see a better future for our children. There are opportunities for our boys to grow into good men, not just for our daughters, but for the communities they serve.
Today, with my own children now growing like weeds, I am thankful for the opportunity I have been given with this newfound perspective. Even if I could go back in time, I would still not have the capacity to understand what I do now. I am fortunate. The experience I have had working with Lambda Chi Alpha thus far has allowed me to not only rethink what is possible for my boys, but what is possible for the world.
And we are just getting started.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or may be at risk of hurting themselves, check out our parent resources from our partners at the JED Foundation and more here.
